I have seen perfection. People claim they know perfect from looking at beautiful women, men, cars whatever - our society is obsessed with the notion that we can have a perfect anything. On the fateful day i produced this monster I had seen the definition of perfect.
This turd was at least 11 inches long (28 cm), and was a perfect break off, tested with toilet roll and there was nothing. the tip was also poking out of the water as if to greet and congratulate me for my performance, sadly this is not shown in the photo.
The final coup d'etat over most other turds came with what secured this masterpiece as a champion turd - it would not flush. Not because it had blocked the toilet but because it seemed to have fused itself to the basin. In summary: No Wipe, Sizeable Dimensions and an Inability to Dispose - these are the tennets of greatness.